What does it take to be a man?

After all of these years wandering around this vast planet, I have finally learned what it means to be a man. Let me tell you folks, it ain't easy.

Like many males, I grew up thinking that being a man meant you could run faster, jump higher, hit a ball farther, or climb a tree higher than all of my friends. But that was just being athletic, not being a man.

As I reached my teen and young adult years I thought being a man meant being able to drink more beers, stay up later, drive faster, or "score more chicks" than my friends. But that was just having immature fun, not being a man.

I came real close when I became a husband and father. I thought being a man meant working hard at a job I might not like, or selling a prized possession so I could pay a bill, or functioning every day although I was racked with pain in various areas of my body. And while some would call that being a man, I think that's just meeting one's responsibilities.

So, if none of these things is being a man, what is? I just figured it out within the last week. But first, a quick back-story.

Many of my friends and some readers of this blog know I have had some health issues in the last couple years. Last Thursday my primary care doctor told me flat out I have to lose weight now or I will die. Period. End of discussion. Her suggestion for dieting? If it tastes good, spit it out. So for the last week I have been substituting bland, healthy foods for the salty, sweet, fatty, tasty foods I love and crave. The other day, I faced a test the magnitude of which I have never experienced...a friend asked me to a Chinese Buffet.

Oh, the Chinese buffet. The attraction is undeniable. First, there is Chinese food. So many kinds of yummy goodness just waiting to cast its hazy satisfaction over you. Secondly, it's a buffet. All you can eat. For one low price. Even lower on Mondays. My ability to literally work up a sweat at a good buffet is legendary.

But this time, I heard someone speaking in my voice utter the word no. Who said that? Then I realized it was I who declined an invitation to the Holy Grail of overeaters everywhere. Could it be that finally, after years of threats and browbeating from multiple doctors, that the message had finally sunk in?

I know this. There are very few things in life I like more than the Chinese Buffet. And to say no because I am trying to save my health, well, that's the toughest thing I've ever done.

I guess now I know what being a man is. It's having the strength to deny yourself of one of life's greatest pleasures for the sake of the greater good. Self-sacrifice, as it were. Maybe I can't run as fast as I used to. Or throw a ball as far. Climbing trees? Surely you jest. I can't drink as much, need lots more sleep and can't get the young ladies like before either. But I can say no when push comes to shove. Welcome to Manhood.

Thanks for reading. Take care my friends.

Mother's Day Reflections-2012

Well friends, another Mother's day is upon us. Are you taking Mom out to dinner? Maybe you plan on bringing her flowers or some other gift. Perhaps a family activity is at the top of your list. Whatever it is, I'm sure Mom will love it. When I was little, I was raised by a single Mom. Granted, we never had much money, but I did what I could to give my Mom a happy Mother's Day. I had to use my ingenuity to come up with creative ideas for gifts I could make...cheaply. Mom had a collection of home-made cards from me. My cards were always unique. I would draw (poorly) some little scene on the front, and on the inside would be a little poem expressing a sentimental thought, just like the real cards you bought in the store. Mom always loved them. Of course, as a child, you don't know that you could give Mom a lint ball and she'd love that too. That's what Moms do. And that's why they are so special to us. I think those cards may have been the genesis for my songwriting. In my youth, before I could play any instruments, I would take an established melody and put my own lyrics to it. Today they call that R&B/Hip Hop. Who knew I was a trend setter? As I got older and learned to play some instruments, I started writing complete songs. When I went into a studio and recorded two of my original tunes my Mom was the most proud of me since I gave a discourse at our church when I was nine. That's another story. I told my Mom I would write a song for her one day. I'm great at procrastination. I should have done it a long time ago. Mom passed away in 1998. Many of you readers might know how I feel this weekend. Your friends are talking about the plans they have with their Moms, and you don't have any. You see a street vendor with flowers, and there is nobody to receive them. The local diner Mom loved is taking reservations for Mother's Day, but they won't seat just one. We all cope with our losses in different ways. But Mother's Day is especially tough. As for me, I'll find a quiet little spot, think about my Mom, and strum my guitar. Who knows. Maybe I'll finally write her song. Happy Mother's Day. Take care my friends.

Thanks for the memories...RIP Chief Jay Strongbow

Last week, a legend in the world of professional wrestling passed away. Chief Jay Strongbow was 83.

I grew up watching wrestling and stared in amazement as these magicians worked their craft in the squared circle. It represented the classic struggle of good vs. evil, and the characters were often larger than life.

I learned when I was about six that I am part Indian (Native American for the PC crowd). Once I knew that, I was filled with pride every time Chief would do his war dance. Like most kids watching, I wanted to be a wrestler one day.

Fast forward forty years. The scene: the 2011 Induction ceremony of the New England Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame. I was asked by my mentor in the wrestling business to give his introduction speech. As I stepped up to the podium, I looked down at the main table. Seated there was Rick Martel, Tito Santana, and my childhood hero, the Chief himself, Jay Strongbow. I have the video of my speech. I mentioned the impact Chief had on me as a young child. At one point, the camara angle changes and you see me standing at the podium, less than five feet from my hero. It is an image I will forever cherish.

Next year will be a very special year for me. You see, I have been informed that I am being inducted into the same Hall of Fame as my mentor, many of my friends, and my childhood idol. The honor is one that I never expected, or even thought was a possibility. I am humbled and oh so ever grateful.

Thanks for reading while I reminisce.
Take care my friends.

In Memory...

I was just cleaning up some old Facebook statuses when I came across one from this week last year. It simply read "RIP Lee, your time came too soon". I can't believe it has been a year already.

Lee and I met as we were growing up as members of a fundamentalist religion. When you're a young child, you are whatever religion your parents say you are. We attended meetings, bible studies and theocratic school together. Lee was always good for a laugh, and had a kind streak in him as wide as all outdoors. Like me, when he was old enough to decide for himself, he left the religion.

Lee took a job working in a VA hospital. This was typical of Lee to want to help others. The amazing thing was that Lee was not in favor of war. But his love of his fellow beings was more important than his dislike for what these people were part of. In the end, it was his caring for these soldiers that cost Lee his life. I can't say more for fear of violating some type of privacy statute.

I went to Lee's service, which was kind of surreal. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that someone so damn caring and good, let alone younger than me, was gone so soon. In the year since, I have lost a couple more close friends who were younger. It makes me think about my course of action in my life. Hopefully I'll learn how to be a better person.

Thanks for reading. And I hope that you all have someone in your life like Lee. If you do, cherish them. People like Lee are a treasure. It's a shame that too often we don't recognize it till it's too late.

Take care my friends.

My Latest Endeavor

When I first started playing a musical instrument back in high school, the road to fame and fortune was a long, arduous adventure to say the least. Hanging out at music stores hoping to find players to put a band together was cheaper than taking out a classified ad in the local paper, and you hoped someone had a garage or basement you could play in, hopefully with very patient parents.

Today, we have Craigslist which provides free classifieds, and reaches many more people. Social media has made it so much easier to promote bands. The countless hours passing out flyers has all but disappeared. Even I, an analog guy in a digital world, have jumped on board the social media bandwagon.

I am proud to introduce my own music fan page which you can visit here. You can access status updates, and purchase downloads from my store if you like. There are links to other informative sites as well. I hope you stop by, take a look, and maybe click the "Like" button. Better yet, share it with your friends. I appreciate it. I will keep you informed as to how it's going from time to time.

As always, take care my friends.

Today's observations.

When I first started writing this blog, I used to write quite often about the issue of politics. I would read an article, hear a news story on the radio, or see a post on Facebook from a friend, and then proceed to pontificate about it here on my blog. I found that this led to many ugly disagreements, and that it strained some important friendships, so I stopped. Yesterday the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) ended listening to three days of arguments on the issue of what has become known as Obamacare. It's purpose is to get everyone access to affordable health care.

I have sat back as an observer of the battle going on, and have become quite amused at how out of touch and totally ignorant arguments from both sides have gotten. Some of the analogies being put forward are so far-fetched that the best hollywood writers could never dream up such things. If it weren't for the fact that this is an important real life issue, this would be great comedy.

Another news item getting a great deal of attention is the Travyon Martin case. I knew it was getting out of hand when celebrities were tweeting the home address of the shooter, and others started tweeting the home address of the celebrity. And then I see on Facebook profile pictures of various people, safe and sound in their own homes, wearing a hoodie. That's all well and good, but some of these folks would NEVER be caught in public wearing one. And I dare say that some of these people, if they were walking down a dark street alone, and encountered someone matching Travyon's description in a hoodie, would cross the street. Or at least that would be their initial instinct. And that's okay, because instinct is natural...it doesn't make you racist.

But alas, I digress. I have decided to focus my creative energies towards my music. I have gotten some very good feedback from the two songs I recorded years ago. With the advances in technology, I can now write and record my songs at home, on this very computer. I am still learning how to use the software, but should be posting some demo versions of my songs soon. My hope is that one of my songs will attract the attention of a national act. In the meantime, please click on the music link to the left. If you like what you hear, please visit my reverbnation store, or look for my music on your favorite download sites like iTunes, eMusic, Zune and many others.

I'll be keeping in touch more regularly, so keep your eyes open.

Take care my friends.

A Tale of a Broken Heart

Last year, I had the pleasure of playing in a band for about four months. I was a little hesitant at first, because I was recovering from my second heart surgery. But after having six stents placed in my heart, I was feeling good and itching to play onstage again. Thanks to The Vegas Valentinos, I had that chance.

Things went well at first. The last month though, I noticed I was getting fatigued quicker. I was starting to get light-headed onstage. One night, I nearly passed out. The other band members approached one night and said they couldn't risk having a bass player who might pass out onstage. And I agreed. I told them I was glad they said something, because I am stubborn enough to have kept going till I dropped. I had physical issues I needed to address.

After each of my previous stent placement surgeries I always felt new again. I underwent a third surgery and got my seventh and eighth stents. I started a med regimen to help my cardiac situation. I started dieting. I then convinced myself I was ready to play in a band again. I was wrong.

Kenney Black hired me to play bass in his new band. It only took me a few weeks to realize I can't handle the physical demand of being in a band any longer. The damage I have to my heart is my own fault, and now I must face the consequences of neglecting my health all of these years. As much as I love playing live in front of a crowd, I have to face the fact that I can no longer do it.

I still plan on writing, recording, and promoting my music. But I can't see myself onstage anymore. And that breaks my heart.

Here is wishing all my friends, readers, and fans of my music good health.

Take care my friends. Please.