What does it take to be a man?

After all of these years wandering around this vast planet, I have finally learned what it means to be a man. Let me tell you folks, it ain't easy.

Like many males, I grew up thinking that being a man meant you could run faster, jump higher, hit a ball farther, or climb a tree higher than all of my friends. But that was just being athletic, not being a man.

As I reached my teen and young adult years I thought being a man meant being able to drink more beers, stay up later, drive faster, or "score more chicks" than my friends. But that was just having immature fun, not being a man.

I came real close when I became a husband and father. I thought being a man meant working hard at a job I might not like, or selling a prized possession so I could pay a bill, or functioning every day although I was racked with pain in various areas of my body. And while some would call that being a man, I think that's just meeting one's responsibilities.

So, if none of these things is being a man, what is? I just figured it out within the last week. But first, a quick back-story.

Many of my friends and some readers of this blog know I have had some health issues in the last couple years. Last Thursday my primary care doctor told me flat out I have to lose weight now or I will die. Period. End of discussion. Her suggestion for dieting? If it tastes good, spit it out. So for the last week I have been substituting bland, healthy foods for the salty, sweet, fatty, tasty foods I love and crave. The other day, I faced a test the magnitude of which I have never experienced...a friend asked me to a Chinese Buffet.

Oh, the Chinese buffet. The attraction is undeniable. First, there is Chinese food. So many kinds of yummy goodness just waiting to cast its hazy satisfaction over you. Secondly, it's a buffet. All you can eat. For one low price. Even lower on Mondays. My ability to literally work up a sweat at a good buffet is legendary.

But this time, I heard someone speaking in my voice utter the word no. Who said that? Then I realized it was I who declined an invitation to the Holy Grail of overeaters everywhere. Could it be that finally, after years of threats and browbeating from multiple doctors, that the message had finally sunk in?

I know this. There are very few things in life I like more than the Chinese Buffet. And to say no because I am trying to save my health, well, that's the toughest thing I've ever done.

I guess now I know what being a man is. It's having the strength to deny yourself of one of life's greatest pleasures for the sake of the greater good. Self-sacrifice, as it were. Maybe I can't run as fast as I used to. Or throw a ball as far. Climbing trees? Surely you jest. I can't drink as much, need lots more sleep and can't get the young ladies like before either. But I can say no when push comes to shove. Welcome to Manhood.

Thanks for reading. Take care my friends.

Mother's Day Reflections-2012

Well friends, another Mother's day is upon us. Are you taking Mom out to dinner? Maybe you plan on bringing her flowers or some other gift. Perhaps a family activity is at the top of your list. Whatever it is, I'm sure Mom will love it. When I was little, I was raised by a single Mom. Granted, we never had much money, but I did what I could to give my Mom a happy Mother's Day. I had to use my ingenuity to come up with creative ideas for gifts I could make...cheaply. Mom had a collection of home-made cards from me. My cards were always unique. I would draw (poorly) some little scene on the front, and on the inside would be a little poem expressing a sentimental thought, just like the real cards you bought in the store. Mom always loved them. Of course, as a child, you don't know that you could give Mom a lint ball and she'd love that too. That's what Moms do. And that's why they are so special to us. I think those cards may have been the genesis for my songwriting. In my youth, before I could play any instruments, I would take an established melody and put my own lyrics to it. Today they call that R&B/Hip Hop. Who knew I was a trend setter? As I got older and learned to play some instruments, I started writing complete songs. When I went into a studio and recorded two of my original tunes my Mom was the most proud of me since I gave a discourse at our church when I was nine. That's another story. I told my Mom I would write a song for her one day. I'm great at procrastination. I should have done it a long time ago. Mom passed away in 1998. Many of you readers might know how I feel this weekend. Your friends are talking about the plans they have with their Moms, and you don't have any. You see a street vendor with flowers, and there is nobody to receive them. The local diner Mom loved is taking reservations for Mother's Day, but they won't seat just one. We all cope with our losses in different ways. But Mother's Day is especially tough. As for me, I'll find a quiet little spot, think about my Mom, and strum my guitar. Who knows. Maybe I'll finally write her song. Happy Mother's Day. Take care my friends.