Father's Day thoughts

It's Father's Day, 2010. My Facebook is full of friends wishing us all a happy day, my phone conversations end with friends telling me to have a happy day and the whole world seems to be celebrating the patriarch of their families.

My dad passed away 33 years ago, when I was a teenager. I had never lived with the man, as he left the house while my mother was in the hospital with me. I never even met the man until I was 5 or 6 years old. I only saw him a few times in my life, the last as he was in a hospital bed losing his battle with Cancer. When my Memere (Grandmother for those non-French)called me to tell me he passed, I thanked her for the call and asked if she was alright. She said she was, and she would call with the arrangements later.

Then it happened. For no conscious reason, after I hung up the phone, I let out a single, primal scream. No tears, just a scream. To this day, I can only speculate as to the cause.

I served as a Pall Bearer for my dad. It wasn't until I watched the casket being lowered into the ground that a tear trickled down my cheek. I think that this was the moment I realized that, whatever this man had been in his life, and regardless of the fact that he was not involved in my life, it was he who gave me that life. For that fact alone, I felt sorrow. Did I mention he passed away the weekend of Father's day? It forever changed my view of the holiday.

I grew older and had two sons of my own. My wife and I divorced when the boys were the same age I was when my dad passed away. I sometimes think it's uncanny the synchronicity life can hand you. This morning, I got a call from my oldest wishing me a Happy Father's day. Haven't heard from my youngest yet, and, quite frankly, I don't expect to. Apparently, my fatherly behavior wasn't up to his standards. I guess I couldn't help that if it's true, because I never had a good fatherly role model to guide me. I kind of had to make it up as I went along.

Father's Day, 2010. In the grand scheme of things, it's just another day on the calender. But it is a day to remember those who gave us life.

Happy Father's Day Dad. I'm thinking about you today.

Take care my friends.

Facebook to the rescue

On June 3rd, 2010, a new chapter in the story of my life unfolded. I can't say that I never expected it to happen, but I never thought I would be dealing with it before I turned 50. Because on June 3rd, I had chest pain, shortness of breath, and pain shooting down my arm. I went to the emergency room at my local hospital, and, after a cardiac catheterization, I was told I had an artery in my heart that was 95% blocked, and I needed to have a stent implanted. I was transferred to Boston Medical Center, one of the top cardiac care hospitals going.

There was little or no warning. I was doing some housework (that'll teach me) when the shortness of breath started. It was a muggy day, so I attributed that to a "bad air day". But when the chest pain hit, I felt something was wrong. I sat down, and it went away. Almost as soon as I resumed my activity it returned, now with the arm pain. I ended up in the hospital for five days. In addition to all the medical stuff, something else very interesting happened to me. An epiphany of sorts. I learned that there are actually people out there who care about me. I never imagined that was possible.

I've mentioned many times on this blog that I am on Facebook. Through this network, I have gotten reacquainted with many people from my past. But while I was in the hospital, I had my smart phone with me, and had access to Facebook with it. I posted that I was hospitalized. The wishes started flowing in. While some were the token "Get well soon" type, some were paragraphs being written by people I would never have expected. Daily, I was getting several comments encouraging me, wishing me well, and offering support and assistance to me. I was overwhelmed.

Normally, a hospital stay is endless hours of hoping someone will visit. But my Facebook friends did something for me I never imagined a social network site could do.

It made me feel loved.

That, my friends, is a feeling I have little experience with. But, for the first time in a very long time, I felt as though, if something bad happened, I would be missed. When that dawned on me, I was overcome with emotion. My Facebook friends reached out their virtual arms to me, and enveloped me in one, big, cyber hug.

The 2 stents they put in my heart are meant to heal the physical pump in my body.

My friends on Facebook helped heal a wounded, broken heart.

You tell me which is more important.

Thanks for reading, and take care.