So today is Father's Day 2011. In some households, this is a minor holiday, where a "Happy Father's Day dad" and a less than perfect gift gift usually rule the day, In other households, it is a bigger deal, with maybe a celebration of some sort. In some households it might involve remembering a dad who has passed. On Facebook, it is a slew of Father's Day greetings getting posted on multiple walls. But Father's Day, in my house, is a rather uneventful, and meaningless day.
I never lived with my dad.I didn't even meet him until I was six. Even after our introduction, I only saw him a few times in my life, and all were negative experiences for me. So my perception of a dad was quite skewed from the start. I often thought dads might be like the ones you saw on TV, but the reality is those are few and far between. My dad was, simply put, not a likable person, and I hoped that I would not be like him.
When I had boys of my own, I was totally unprepared to be a dad. I tried to do the best I could with the tools I had, and admittedly, made a lot of mistakes. I immersed myself in my work, thinking that being a provider was sufficient enough. I was wrong. Unfortunately, mistakes when raising children tend to not be forgotten, and as I sit here composing this, it is early afternoon, and my phone has not rung yet. At least not from my boys. I expect one might call this evening, after his mom reminds him. But then again, maybe not.
My Facebook friends have wished me the best for today, and I politely thank them, but the fact is today means little to me. Remember how I said my dad was not likable? His final act was passing away on Father's Day. Nice guy, huh? So please forgive if I'm not all smiles today. It's just another day to me.
Take care my friends.
