The last few days have been a whirlwind of confusion for me. Periodically, I lose my focus on what is important in the present and think too much about the past. This has been one of those periods.
The cliche says those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. And it is the mistakes of my past I wish to avoid in the future, so I keep those memories alive. My mistake has been that instead of merely not forgetting the past, I have been dwelling on it, and that is not healthy.
I am thankful for my friends and family at times like this. They act as a ball of sunshine in the darkness of my self-imposed gloom. It seems almost like an alarm goes out when I am in a funk, and my phone comes alive with random "How are you doing" calls from people I haven't talked to in a while. I also get e-mails from some good friends who have been down this road with me before, and they remind me how to get out of the funk. Rebalance and start again...words of advice from a friend who probably displays more patience with me than I deserve. And it is true...that is exactly what I needed to hear.
The past is the past, and nothing in it can be changed. The mistakes of the past should be avoided, viewed as painful lessons. Pain is a very effective teacher. Anyone who has ever played with fire will tell you that. But when we think about the past, we should dwell on the positive memories while acknowledging the lessons learned. I had forgotten to do that.
I am not saying that I have had an epiphany and that all my ills are suddenly cured. But I have regained my focus on the present priorities in my life. The funk has broken, much quicker than usual, because of the love and caring of the circle of people in my life. Yes, they have once again provided the sunlight to guide me from the darkness. It makes me realize that even with the mistakes I have made, I must have done some things right, otherwise these people would not put up with me. If Karma is to be believed, I must have done some good somewhere at some time.
And that makes me feel good about myself, and gives me the encouragement to move forward. And, going forward, I will be a little more conscious about how my actions affect others, so the next time I lose my way, maybe my circle of friends will be even larger. And when a friend of mine goes through a spell, I hope that it is my words of encouragement that help them as they have helped me, and that I provide them the sunlight they need. After all is said and done, all we really have in this life is each other, and we need to share the caring amongst ourselves, or caring shall become a lost art. Imagine how bright the world could be if we all strive to be the sunshine in someone's life...
Thank you, and take care my friends.
