Another New Year

I have to apologize to my readers for not posting in quite a while. It seems that I have neglected writing about my thoughts on various topics because I have too busy experiencing life rather than merely observing it. So, here is my last blog for 2011, a very interesting year for me personally.

This year had its share of ups and downs, evidenced by the fact that five days in I already had a heart surgery. Apparently I have not mastered the healthy lifestyle regimen quite yet.

I managed to stay employed the entire year, so that's a good thing.

I started a new hobby- paranormal investigations. I was very skeptical at first, but some interesting evidence, and a couple of personal experiences, have lessened my skepticism somewhat.

I briefly resurrected my music career. I spent four months playing with The Vegas Valentinos, but had to quit due to health reasons.

I attended my first ever class reunion. What a great time. I am sorry I missed all the previous ones.

I had a second heart surgery in November. My Cardiologist is not too happy with me. I apologize for my stubbornness. Aries on a Taurus cusp you knotw. Can't help myself.

I did notice one big change this year. I had zero enthusiasm for any of my favorite holidays. Don't know what to make of that.

The best thing to happen to me this year? That's easy. After almost thirty years, I got to see and hug the most special person in my life during my teenaged years. Since then, nothing bad can possibly happen to me.

2012 is moments away. I'll go to work, get sick now and then, visit some cool places, make some music, work towards my next degree and just live life in general. I hope that I experience more good things than bad, and I hope my health improves, although that depends on me and me alone. After all is said and done, I hope all my new experiences make me a better person. It is a never-ending journey, the road to self-improvement. And I hope I keep moving forward on this journey.

Take care my friends.

Father's Day Thoughts

So today is Father's Day 2011. In some households, this is a minor holiday, where a "Happy Father's Day dad" and a less than perfect gift gift usually rule the day, In other households, it is a bigger deal, with maybe a celebration of some sort. In some households it might involve remembering a dad who has passed. On Facebook, it is a slew of Father's Day greetings getting posted on multiple walls. But Father's Day, in my house, is a rather uneventful, and meaningless day.

I never lived with my dad.I didn't even meet him until I was six. Even after our introduction, I only saw him a few times in my life, and all were negative experiences for me. So my perception of a dad was quite skewed from the start. I often thought dads might be like the ones you saw on TV, but the reality is those are few and far between. My dad was, simply put, not a likable person, and I hoped that I would not be like him.

When I had boys of my own, I was totally unprepared to be a dad. I tried to do the best I could with the tools I had, and admittedly, made a lot of mistakes. I immersed myself in my work, thinking that being a provider was sufficient enough. I was wrong. Unfortunately, mistakes when raising children tend to not be forgotten, and as I sit here composing this, it is early afternoon, and my phone has not rung yet. At least not from my boys. I expect one might call this evening, after his mom reminds him. But then again, maybe not.

My Facebook friends have wished me the best for today, and I politely thank them, but the fact is today means little to me. Remember how I said my dad was not likable? His final act was passing away on Father's Day. Nice guy, huh? So please forgive if I'm not all smiles today. It's just another day to me.

Take care my friends.

Hunting Ghosts, Finding Spirits

I have a friend who is fascinated with the ghost-hunting craze you see on TV. She has digital cameras, digital audio recorders, thermometers and all the basic ghost-hunter devices.

I am a skeptic. I have logic, and the inability to believe in things that I either can't see or explain logically. So she has taken it upon herself to make me a believer. Good luck with that.

I find myself trouncing around various "haunted" places in the area. Apparently, I live not far from the "Bridgewater Triangle", one of the most active areas in the country for paranormal activity. Our travels bring us to many old cemeteries. TOday was no different, yet it was.

We stopped at this small, out of the way burial ground in a remote part of a small town nearby. The stones were marked with dates from the 17 and 1800's. But something was different here. There were flags on the veterans' graves. Veterans of The Revolutionary War. I was taken aback.

Every Memorial Day, Veteran's Day, and Independence Day, we remember our fallen heroes. But here, in front of my eyes, I was standing in the final resting place of these brave men. And I was humbled.

It is so easy for us today to get on Facebook and rant about our leaders, the economy, the system of things, and everything else we see around us. Each one of us has our opinion about how things should be. But other than posting on Facebook, we do little else.

These men, who were struggling to build a life for their families and themselves, put their lives on the line for their beliefs. a bunch of farmers took on the greatest military force of the era...and won due to sheer determination and courage.

As I walked away contemplating these things, I turned around, staring at the little flags. And then I, a man who has never worn a military uniform, saluted these brave men. It just felt necessary.

I don't pretend to know what our forefathers meant or intended when they penned the Constitution, and greater minds than mine have argued, and still argue, its meanings. But I do know that these men were willing to give their lives for the nation that had yet to be born, and that's worth something.

I still don't believe in ghosts, but today, I encountered a spirit. I encountered the spirit of a group of people unhappy with the way things were, and the spirit of those willing to die to change things.

Think about that the next time you want to post to Facebook. Doesn't seem like all that much, does it?

Take care my friends.

The Resurrection

I used to play in a band in high school. You know, some kids with instruments who knew 3 or 4 chords and proceeded to spend countless hours butchering a group of songs that somehow all sounded alike. As the hours passed, we were unknowingly improving. My high school band even played a couple of shows before large crowds.

After graduation, we all parted ways. I ended up in a wedding band for a little over 12 years. When I got married, and more importantly, had kids, I had to choose between being a family man or a musician. You see, although I was making money in the wedding band, I was also writing a good deal of my own music. I went into a recording studio with some friends of mine, and recorded two of my original tunes, with the intent of making a "45" record. If you are under 40, you might have to Google that. I still have the master tape, but never did get it pressed. I thought the songs were lost forever.

Then I got an e-mail from a Facebook friend. His brother was the producer of the recording session I had done. My friend told me that his brother had sent him some mp.3 files, and my two songs were there. I was thrilled! But what to do with the songs now...

I burned a couple copies of the songs to give my kids. At least they could enjoy my music. I kept the CD in my car, and any willing passenger got to hear my songs. Then one passenger suggested I put the songs on iTunes. I checked into it, and did so. "I Wanna be Famous" is available on iTunes, and while is not making me rich, has sold a surprising number of downloads. This resurrected my desire to play music again.




I had heard Kristen Merlin, a singer/songwriter with incredible talents, and a band called The Vegas Valentinos in local establishments, and my enthusiasm for the idea grew. Then my high school band's drummer invited me to hear his group, The Toni Knott Band, and I was very surprised to hear how good they were. That did it. I had to find a band. I looked on Craigslist. I saw a couple ads looking for bass players, and replied. A few weeks after my replies, the very same Vegas Valentinos e-mailed me inviting me to audition. I did, and got the job. It was a godsend.

I am now playing live gigs again. The band does a good deal of original songs, and takes recording seriously. It is exactly the situation I had hoped for, and I must say I feel blessed to have been accepted by these wonderfully talented guys.

I have been saying that I want to enjoy the second half of my life a lot more than the first half. The Valentinos are a huge first step in fulfilling that goal.

Remember friends, it's never too late. Go after your dreams. You never know what could happen. Oh, and if you want to hear "I Wanna be Famous", just click on the widget to the left. Enjoy!

Take care my friends.

Osama Bin Laden is dead-My thoughts.

May 1, 2011-

"Dear Diary,

I woke this morning, and my legs are sore from yesterday's activities. I got to go to court to be a witness in a trial. My fantasy baseball team is very average. Oh yeah, and Osama Bin Laden is apparently dead. Homework assignment due tomorrow. Ugh."

I don't actually keep a diary, but if I did, yesterday's entry might have looked like that. All my Facebook friends are posting about Bin Laden's death, yet, somehow, I feel nothing.

I'm not proud. Yet I'm not disgusted either.
I'm not happy. Yet I'm not sad either.
I'm not safer. Yet I'm not in more danger either.
I'm not feeling physically better. Yet I'm not physically worse either.
I'm not celebrating. Yet I'm not upset either.

In short, after all is said and done, it doesn't affect my life one way or another.

My legs still hurt.
I still have bills to pay.
My homework still isn't done.
I still need a haircut.

So Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Pardon me, I've homework to finish.

The True Meaning of Toughness.

I recently celebrated a milestone birthday. As I was looking at all the "Happy Birthday" wishes on my Facebook page, I found one from my buddy Gino. I was rather impressed that Gino had remembered my birthday, because 4 days earlier he was on live television in Italy setting a Guinness' World Record. (I have an eclectic circle of friends)

You see, my friend Gino is what circus folk call a strongman. He does things normal human beings would not even imagine doing, mostly involving breaking hard objects over his skull. One time, I was present when Gino lay down on a bed of nails, covered himself with plywood, and had six of us sit on him. I was the smallest of the six. At that time, I weighed close to 400 pounds. You do the math.

Over the years, I have been blessed to witness some of Gino's most spectacular achievements, but nothing prepared me for watching his world record performance. Let me set the context for you. Gino is kneeling with 3 concrete slabs on his head. Maybe ten feet above him, an assistant drops a sixteen pound bowling ball onto his head, shattering the slabs. Two more assistants then replace the slabs and another ball is dropped. And another. And another. The record was to see how many he could break in three minutes. I was wondering who set the original record, or who even thought this craziness up.

As the first ball hit Gino's head, I was cheering. GO GINO, GO I yelled at the screen. Then, about halfway through, my thoughts changed. I had seen the mental preparation he put into these performances. I had seen the toll it took on his energy level. I knew the pain he would feel the next day. And all of a sudden, I was begging my friend to stop. I didn't want to see him put himself through this ordeal any longer. Yet on he went.

When the representative from Guinness presented Gino with his recognition, I think it was the most pride I had ever felt for someone not in my family. I had developed a true appreciation for the preparation, training, strength, and mental and physical toughness required to perform such a feat at such a level.

Earlier today, Gino e-mailed me the link to the clip. I told him I had seen it already. And I told him how his heart was as big as his head was hard.

Most people might find that an insult. Gino takes that as a very sincere compliment. I told you my friends were an eclectic bunch.

Please watch this video. And if you ever come across something you think is too tough to do, think about this feat. I promise you, nothing will seem too tough after this.
Lo show dei record - Rompere 45 blocchi di cemento - Video Mediaset

Take care my friends.
And Bless you Gino.

This time, it's real

From 1996 until July of last year, I was a member of a very special fraternity- the brotherhood of Independent Pro Wrestling talent. Because of my age when I discovered I could get into the business, I started out as a referee, and then became a wrestling manager. You know, the guy outside the ring who cheats so the bad guy can win the match.

Many people claim wrestling is fake. I have x-rays, scars, arthritis and recurring symptoms of post-concussion trauma that would argue otherwise. What you see on TV is scripted...what we did was as real as it gets. I could write a litany of stories, but Tolstoy would probably say to cut it down. But that is not what I am writing about today. Today, I am actually confirming my announced retirement.

In the world of wrestling, retirement is a misnomer. Pro wrestlers regularly retire multiple times, and most all for the same reason- love of the business. Unless you have stepped through those ropes, you have no idea of the addictive nature that ring holds. Last year, I worked a show just six weeks after suffering a heart attack and having two stents inserted in my heart. The picture above is me distracting The Real Deal Joel Davis so my wrestler could sneak attack him. I did not let my health interfere with my involvement in the match, and a stiff right hand from Joel knocked to the ring apron, and then to a very hot layer of asphalt. Captain Lou would have been proud.

Before the match, I had announced it would be my last. At the end of the day though, people were saying "see ya next show". It is just assumed that retirements are temporary. Saturday, I proved mine wasn't. I turned down an offer from one of my favorite promoters in the game. The reason I gave him, is that my body can no longer do the things around and in the ring I want it to.

There are guys who linger on in the business. They can't pull themselves away. One such man is a friend of mine. He still does the manager thing, but his health has deteriorated to the point where all he does is stand in one spot and yell. To me, that isn't worth it. And so, July 18, 2010, was my last ever appearance in a wrestling ring. Even I wasn't really sure until I said no on Saturday.

And you know what? I am at peace with my decision. And that feels good.

Take care my friends.